You know...

You know you've reached the third trimester when...

...it has officially become an olympic sport to shave your legs
...you spend more time in the bathroom than sleeping at night
...you drop something and you have to gauge whether it's important enough to attempt to pick up
...it takes 5 min to turn over in bed, and by the time you do, you realize you have to pee
...bending over is no longer an option
...the only thing you want between your legs is your pillow
...65 degrees suddenly becomes scorching hot
...your belly gets in the way of opening doors
...tying your shoes has suddenly become as hard as it was when you were 3
...you realize you no longer walk, you waddle
...getting up off the couch involves a rocking motion
...random strangers off to help you carry things, because "you shouldn't be exerting yourself"
...you don't say you have "x weeks left", you know the exact amount of days
...you start to think you have Altimers because you can't remember anything
...you cry over everything
...everytime you laugh, cough or sneeze, you pee a little
...a trip to WalMart makes you want to nap
...you can't remember if your toenails are painted, and you can't see your feet to confirm
...people tell you you look like you're ready to pop, and then looked stunned when you say you have 10 weeks to go yet
...sitting 10 min makes you sore, standing 10 min makes you sore..you can't win
...the thought of walking up the stairs makes you tired
...you begin limping because of the sciatic pain shooting down your leg
...you no longer care what the scale says because you're long past the point of horrified by the number
...your belly makes a nice tabletop
...your heartburn is so bad, you could get a second job as a fire breathing dragon
...your so tired you can't move, but you can't manage to fall asleep
...maternity clothes aren't so cute anymore
...the pain of childbirth seems better than how you currently feel
...your pelvic bone feels like its splitting in 2
...you have to wear your wedding ring on a necklace
...you no longer have ankles, you have cankles
...you drip something on your shirt and don't notice it until you take it off at bedtime (because you couldn't see it)
...you just want to "pop off" your belly for 15 min to give your back a break